Mama, She's Biting Me!

MAMA, SHE'S BITING ME is the story of a marriage that should have failed, but succeeded.

There was a family of five children, all of them well educated, rather well settled in life, except for the youngest son...who was dim and odd, and possibly with latent homosexuality. But, this part of his development was not acknowledged by anybody.

Being a conventional family, there was great pressure on this boy to get married and after many refusals, he succumbed to the pressure and the wedding took place. Came the wedding night, the bride in all her gaudy finery, waited on the bed, as a sacrificial lamb, in the bedoom. He, swinging his body, and making helpless hand gestures, scrambled up to the terrace of the home and slept in his usual bachelor bed, next to his mother.

The bride waited. The relatives waited. And the hush in the home waited. Nothing happened.

After 5 days, the situation became desperate, and the mother of the groom had to intervene for the sake of family reputation. She locked the bride and bridegroom in the bedroom, admonished her son and still, keeping her blinkers on, came away.

Next morning. The groom hammered and hammered on the door. When the door was opened, he rushed out of the room, bleary-eyed, disheveled and screaming loudly, "She smells! She stinks! She's got bad breath. I've been cheated. How could you all marry me to a woman with rotten teeth?"

Face was saved, the bride was hauled to the dentist and all of her 32 pearly white teeth were pulled out, under the guise of gum disease and rotten teeth. The 20 year old girl turned into an old woman with sunken cheeks, resembling his mother. So, how could he make love to his mother?!

The marriage was never consumated.

The story has a happy ending, because some years later, the eldest son in law of the family, who was kept on a sexual diet by his wife, went to this young-old woman, who lost her virginity and hoorah! Became pregnant by him. A son was born, there were celebrations, three facts were celebrated:

the loss of her virginity, her husband's reputation to be able to father a child and of course, the newborn baby. The fates laughed.

This event took place 70 years ago and can we say, who won? Who lost?