The Power Game in Wedlock

In marriage, it is often found that the partner with money is the boss, and the authority is automatic. Can we beat this?

Let me tell you stories, both real and from the movies. A cousin of mine got married, he must have been about 30 years old, so too the bride, who was also a post-graduate. The newly married couple, with his parents who were my aunt and uncle, and the rest of his siblings, with their partners and kids, came to have lunch at my house one day.

There was a charged electrical atmosphere in the living room where we all sat. The boy's sisters and the nieces were teasing the bride and bridegroom, getting them to sit together on a small couch and act as loving newlyweds.

However, the bride would have nothing to do with this, and very demurely flounced around the room, keeping her husband at bay. And of course, disobeying the dictates of the inlaws, an unheard of thing, but establishing her power.

There were many whispers and talk in undertones that the marriage had not been consummated and everytime he went near her, she would rush up to her mother in law's bedroom, plaintively crying, "He's doing something to me! He'se doing something to me. What is he doing to me? Hide me, save me!"

Well, once again, the story has a happy ending. The marriage was consummated, a happy marriage, loving couple. But, she admitted her mother had taught her to play the game, saying that the power set up in a marriage is very important and the woman only has sex on her side. So, delay the consummation but at the same time flash yourself attractively in front of the husband, so that his desire builds up and when the marriage is consummated, it will be a gift from you to him. Because, you have not handed over your sexual power to satisfy his momentary lust.

And as the leader of the daily sexual ritual you will be the leader, without hurting his feelings.
The Same Story Seen in a Movie
In some countries, marriage and its consummation, is a very public "within the family" event. There is a lot of hype, and a lot of excitement built up, about the consummation and the happiness that can result from a good sex life.

Before the wedding, the women sing many songs and through innuendo and jokes, excite the bride and bridegrooms' feelings that something wonderful awaits them. I suppose you could say this is the one way sex education in taught?

The bride's body is prepared for this sacred exchange, with massages and ointments and all the things would make her glow and her scent be an awakening for the senses. The wedding takes place and the bride is not allowed near her husband for the first two or three days, due to certain ceremonies, visits to her mother's home and the underlying idea that the sex consummation should be an act of well rested bodies. Then, the preparations begin.

The girl is given a glass a milk to take to her husband when he is in his bedroom, but she has to leave the glass of milk there and come away. Maybe even smile at him from the door. This goes on for a couple of days. And then one night she is beautifully prepared with oils and scents, ornaments and flowers, and goes in with a glass of milk and has been given instructions to pleasure and enjoy the pleasure. The sacred exchange takes place and there is great rejoicing.

Today's human beings have no time for this, and an act which is sacred can be done in the back seat of a car, fumblingly in a movie house, and that which could be the biggest gift a woman gives a man becomes ordinary and a matter of gossip in the men's locker room. Who wins? Who loses?